Know What Not To Say

Inspired by a post on What Culture I thought about all the annoying things that people say to me when they find out I love film or just say to me in general. I admit I am guilty about giving away too much of a plot, but this is usually because I just want to share it with someone, but I go too far. 

This is the list of what I think you should never to say to someone who loves/appreciates film AND knows about film.

1. Mentioning a film has 'great twist'

Please don't do this. Once you know there's a twist, you will spend the entire film trying to guess what it is. I had this done to me and as i have already mentioned, I have been guilty if this, so please don't do this. Unless you are asked to tell all several times.

2. Saying you prefer the remake to the original

This is just ridiculous. You are only allowed to say this when you have seen both and can actually give a valid reason to why you would say this. Whenever I have heard this, the person never gives a reason. Its incredibly annoying and insulting the original film. 

3. Predicting the end of the film, out loud

Please don't do this. This irritates everyone apart from the one speaking and if someone does it to them, they get annoyed. Just watch the film, talk about it after.

4. This film looks boring

How do you know its boring? This is the same as, don't judge a book by its cover. Research the story, who made it, where it was made and you'll find out that it is not boring. Also, this is just lazy to say this.

5. Saying you don't like certain genre films 

I am guilty of this one too, I don't like watching horror film. But I have a valid reason. I get scared and I have a very wild and extremely active imagination. If I watch a horror film it stays with me and I don't like that feeling. But otherwise, how do you know you don't like certain genres if you refuse to watch that genre. This, does not make any sense.

6. Saying you don't remember a film you've just seen

I know my parents are guilty of this one. My dad has seen Inside Man so many times, each time its on, he's there watching. I tell him you've seen it and screams at me to be quiet because he can't remember anything about it. It's total bs. Other people too, they look at me after I quote the film and they say 'how can you remember anything from the film', why? BECAUSE WE JUST SAW IT!

7. Pausing a film for too long

When in company, never pause for too long. You will end up waiting ages for people to come back. 

8. Nothing happened

What do you mean? A whole film happened. I know of very few film where nothing has happened but its as rare as spotting a dodo. There is a story, things happen, the story ends. There, something did happen. This is usually said by people who ONLY watch action films or horror films.

9. Saying a director ripped of another director's ideas or saying that something is exactly the same

Its homage and its clever and shows respect. It also shows that you have seen other films, good, but don't its the same because that shows you are blind and that you don't have a creative mind.

10. Asking what happened because you weren't listening

PAY ATTENTION! Someone who is enjoying and watching does not appreciate being asked questions during the film, thus causing them to miss the film. My parents are definitely guilty of this.

11. Don't like old films, black and white or silent films

This to me, says you are ignorant as this is usually said by people who have never actually seen any of the above. They are films just in a different colour or without sound. Old films however, well, Avatar, that's old, that film came out ages ago, 2009, would you watch that? Again, don't judge until you've seen. I remember an old manager who I worked for in Blockbusters said he had never seen a b&w film and he said he didn't understand the concept of a silent film or foreign film for that matter. It was extremely stupid though. He used the excuse that I studied film so had to watch other films but he didn't need or want to.

12. Saying that films are not important

This is upsetting. Any type of creative or media type breakthrough is important. Saying film is not important is like saying history is not important.

Like Werner Herzog said: “Films might be the inner chronicle of what we are, and we have to articulate ourselves. Otherwise we would be cows in the field.”

13. Saying you don't watch foreign films

Same as 11. This shows ignorance. The worst kind of ignorance. There is life and films outside the english language. 

14. Try to catch someone out by asking who the director is

This applies to a couple of certain people I know. They always ask who the director is. Just because I love film does not mean I know everything single working director to this day. This doesn't mean I'm less in the know than you, it just means I don't know. Hot Tub Time Machine was on TV and we happened to watch a clip, I made the mistake of laughing then saying I'd like to watch it sometime, then they asked, disgusted, who the director was. I said it didn't matter. They, turned their nose up at it and started talking about Bergman. They only know a few directors but not producers, not productions companies, not screenwriters, so, who knows more? 

15. Saying its a 'boy's film'

This was said to me a lot at school. I was made fun of because I read movie magazines instead of gossip trash mags. I remember one girl even laughed at me and said, 'Oh my god, you're reading a men's magazine'. I corrected her and pointed out it was about films. She didn't understand. So, again, its an ignorant thing to say. Why is it a boy's film? It is blue and shaped like a race car? How stereotypical and sexist. There is no such thing as a 'boy's film'.

Now remember, try not to say any of the above and your film pal won't get angry and smash things. They'll do this instead: