If The Pen Is Willing

I wish I could write like Agatha Christie. I wish I could write like Tolkien. I wish I could write like M.C. Beaton. I wish I was a Coen brother. I wish I could create like Wes Anderson. I wish I could work like Hitchcock. I wish I was Tina Fey.

After seeing Trumbo this weekend, not only did it educate me more about the Black List but it inspired me. Dalton Trumbo was said to be a brilliant screenwriter, not only for the work he produced but the amount he did too. I'm always astounded by those who produce so much content and its always excellent quality. Prolific writers have always been an inspiration as I've been jealous of them and aspire to be them. But I just don't function like that.

I fear I'm heading towards the limited activity zone and I don't like it. I haven't written any fiction since Autumn which is depressing and disappointing. I have written a fair amount of blog posts and a few for The Film Magazine, but it doesn't seem enough. For me, there seems to a rule where I either concentrate on one or the other. Trying to complete a short story or finish my novel I have revisited too many times, means my blog posts suffer and I'm out of practice. In the words of Liz Lemon, 'I can have it all' but I just don't know if that's true anymore.

I thought maybe branching out and writing for something else and not just my blog would be a good idea. I'm not sure if anyone was aware but I had been contributing to another blog/site, not a big thing but they were working on getting followers/readers. I had sent them some of my work which was from my blog and I said that I could submit more, also from my site as well as original. I was honest from the start. But, after a few months of me writing and presenting ideas, they turned around and said no. They also put said, I just don't fit in with the other 'writers'. I was annoyed, of course, no one likes to be excluded but thinking about it now, it's good. I'm glad I don't fit in with them, it means I'm different and more importantly, original, which isn't what they are looking for. I don't believe in pretending to be something I'm not.

That's over and done with now and I hopefully concentrate more on my blog work and actually have a schedule sorted. I tend to become one of my fictional idols created by an idol, Daisy Steiner or Dizzy Steinway which she may be know as in some circles. She calls herself a writer but takes a whole series to write three articles. As much as I love Daisy, I can't be like her. I mean, yes I have been on job seekers in my time and I have written random articles (not paid for though) and made up some weird names, mainly for stories and for other reasons too. I use a laptop/computer to do my writing rather than a typewriter, despite the blog banner, but the main thing that Daisy and I have in common is that we are both terrible procrastinators oh and we both hate talking to members of the public, as demonstrated when she worked in a bookshop and I worked in Whittards.

When you have the urge to write, I find that I'm in the wrong place and without the means to write anything. I find I write the most late at night and its happens at 2am. It's a miracle. I'll write 3,000 words like crazy and then read it back and think it's amazing. I'll read it again 2 days later and it's pure trash. But I know every writer goes through this too. What I need is the opportunity and the space to just sit and write endlessly. This is where I envy Trumbo who can sit at his desk or in his bathtub and write for hours and hours. I need to find my bathtub.

Anyway, to bring this ramble to a close, I wish I had the writing ethic of my heroes but right now I'm just Daisy and I'm going to cope with that and write more, obviously.